Prepress Woes

[TORCH511]

Allright, I need to vent a little and honestly, neither my boss or my wife understands what I am talking about, so maybe someone here will get a kick out of my daily misery (don't feel bad, I make really good money) I have lots more, feel free to add your own.


• A 2kb .GIF file is not art.

• STOP adding a bevel to everything.

• Creating outlines does not mean adding a stroke to text.

• Please adjust the scale so I know how big it is supposed to be.

• Please call me before you download that font off the internet so I can come over, slap you and then cut your phone lines so you can't.

• Creating text in a document is NOT embedding a font.

• I never did thank you for adding 6 points of trap to your artwork for me... and there is a good reason for that.

• I understand the occasional typo, it happens all the time, but AT LEAST get your company name right (*cough* Pitney Bowes *cough*)

• If you want me to print your logo, then don't tell me you can't give it to me because it is a registered trademark.

• 4 Color Process Printing, and printing 4 spot colors is NOT the same, and therefore, does not cost the same.

• Don't write a novel in a label 2 inches by 1 inch and then complain about how small the text is.

• I do not care what shades you use, Brown, Pink and Orange just look awful together.

• If I tell you that it is not going to look good if we print it, then it isn't going to look good when we print it.

• Poodles do not belong on any product branding, even if the product is for poodles (Do you have any idea how hard it is to half-tone a poodle the size of a thumbnail?)

• "Just any Red will do"... yeah... right.

• Just because you stole a copy of Illustrator or Photoshop does not make you a graphic artist.

[Rory]

-bleed? Whats that?
-what do you mean its too close for the trimming?
-I want this really vibrant pantone orange, but print it in CMKY. Why doesn't it look the same?

Don't worry about it Torch, all you guys are doing up there is hitting a print button right?

[Scott Weichert]

That wasn't a typo... my company really is "Pithey Bowls", didn't yea read the material I asked you to print?

:D

[lilypad]

That is a fairly comprehensive list.

Just a couple more...

... so you say you took a breathe-taking photo with your 3 mega-pixel camera, and you want to use it as a background to a full bleed double-truck advertisement.

... you do know that placing that pixel image of your logo into Illustrator and saving it as an EPS file does NOT make it vector... don't you?

... you want 4 color process printing of that brochure you made in Word, but you do not understand the need for any prep charges since you already set up the brochure.?.

- jon

[Scott Weichert]

http://www.clientcopia.com/

[Paths]

-embedding a (pick any raster) image into an eps - does not magically make it into a vector! (sorry - I noticed after, that this was already said and I was going to delete mine...but on second thought this is one worth repeating!)

-when we ask for the native file, please don't just save that low res bmp with a psd extension.

-setting the document colour mode to cmyk does not make it separation ready for the spot colours that were not assigned.

-there is no such thing as 'simply cleaning up the edges' of a very detailed image that is already terribly compressed and needs to be printed 5 times it's size.

-please don't sent me a 70 meg file via email.

-expect to pay for a lot of research time when you absolutely INSIST we recreate art using the EXACT font (that was from the net) but you don't have it or know the name. (I seriously spent an ENTIRE Saturday sifting through EVERY hand tooled font available on the interent (I think there were 16,000 of them) looking for a particular font). ... AMAZING - but I found it.

[MindBender]

If you want me to print your logo, then don't tell me you can't give it to me because it is a registered trademark.

LOL... sad but true.

you want 4 color process printing of that brochure you made in Word, but you do not understand the need for any prep charges since you already set up the brochure.?

I used to get those on a semi-daily basis.

• Yes, I did it quickly. No, you can't have it for free.

• Thank you for showing me your competitor's site/brochure/business card. No, I will not copy that exactly and put your name on it for you. That goes for anyone else's stuff too (microsoft, apple, google, you name it.).

• Yes, changing your mind the day before press run does cost extra.

• No I can't just download a copy of your logo from the upper corner of your website for the brochure.

• I'm sure the typo was obvious, and yes, I do proofread my documents... just not in Chinese, Korean, Spanish, Italian, Swahili, ancient Greek, or any dialect of the Incas.

• If I call you twice a day requesting the artwork, copy, and colors... and you don't have time to give them to me... no... I can't just "do the rest of it first and get back to you".

• Because if I don't get half the money now... I'm sure I won't get the other half later.

• Actually, I do think including all the product information from your website on the back of your business card is a bad idea.

• You're paying me how much for your business card and logo design... and you want me to put http://yourname.freeserverprovider.tk/home/biz/mycatpictures/default.html as your web address? Should that go before or after yourname@hotmail.com?

[TORCH511]

• No I can't just download a copy of your logo from the upper corner of your website for the brochure.

LOL, I had to do that on Monday - Them: Our logo is on our website. Me - Where? Them - In the upper left corner. Me - *Click*

This is some good stuff.

[MindBender]

http://www.clientcopia.com/

After I read this thread and posted... I went to that link... and spent the next 2 hours laughing my ass off. ;) Great stuff. hehe

Them: Our logo is on our website. Me - Where? Them - In the upper left corner. Me - *Click*

I've had more than a few times where it just had to get to press... and my boss was breathing down my neck about it... so I've gotten pretty quick at redrawing pixelated web graphic logos in Illustrator so they'd be useful in a press setting. Certainly not my favorite thing to do though... and it comes up way too often. They pay to have someone make the logo... then they get the disc... then they lose the disc and expect you to deal with it. What if they bought cars like that. "Hello, yes... I bought a car oh... a month ago and I can't get it to go. Do you have my keys?".....

I think I'm going to go into used car sales..... O.o ;)

[TORCH511]

I also went to the sight Scott linked to and wasted about an hour at work quite amused... then I had to get to work. I sent the link to my boss. He wasted quite a bit of time too which make me wasting time OK.

Good link Scott. If you have not checked out that sight, I highly recommend you do so.

[lilypad]

Ooohhh... try this one,

Yeah, some guy who use to work here created our logo and the only copy I have is this Word document. Can you put that on our (insert printed product here).

Or just as good...

Our secretary made our logo in Printshop. Why does the printer tell us that they can not use it?

- jon

PS - great link Scott

[warking@mac.com]

Ten years experiance at Adobe Illustrator is NOT a 1 hour class ten years ago!!!!!!!!!!!

[sarathy]

hello I'm new here.

[TORCH511]

Ten years experiance at Adobe Illustrator is NOT a 1 hour class ten years ago!!!!!!!!!!!

Going to break off-topic for a bit and instead of prepress woes, going to switch to prepresser woes, specifically job applicants.

My last job we used to do a lot of large format printing, and while not your typical prepress position, it combined a little bit of it with some run-of the mill photoshop skills (you also had to run the printers and do the finishing work, so you had to be an all in one)

Whenever we were looking for a new employee, it was ALWAYS the same story. The applicants always had a wealth of photoshop experience on their resume, but it always seemed like the later part of the statement quoted above in reality.

After a bad hire or two, people who obviously knew how to do very little more than crop and rotate in photoshop, I would just sit applicants down at a workstation, give the enough info to get started and say "Go". If the first thing you did was to look at me because you obviously had no clue, or if you asked me a question... You didn't get the job.

A clue for you aspiring artists and graphic professionals out there. Do not lie on your resume. Be honest about your abilities. I have been hired on more than one occasion with probably lower skills that what the company was looking for Just on attitude, desire and potential. I have hired people that were less quailfied that had a better attitude. Skill and experience are important but they are not everything.

[Hexabuzz]

Torch,

It's almost impossible to find anyone "young" in offset printing prepress because it seems that everyone has gone designing on the web...

I would kill for someone who understands why you can't overprint white... Or even where "overprint preview" is... Or who even knows WHAT an overprint is...

Or why dielines shouldn't knockout the art below them... Or why 100C 100M 100Y 100K doesn't make a good black... Especially for a 1/2 point stroke...

I could go on and on...

Unfortunately, it doesn't seem like they're teaching printing prep in school these days, and the only way to get good at is paying your dues...

Dave

[nook]

I bought this AWESOME program from Wal-Mart that came with some equally AWESOME fonts. Can you print this file?

What do you mean it isn't High Resolution! It's at LEAST 50kb!!!!

Placing a Quark file inside of an Illustrator file DOES NOT MAKE IT AN ILLUATRATOR FILE!!!

[MindBender]

"You guys all use MS Publisher right? Or should we just give you the Word files?"

[TORCH511]

"Looks pretty good doesn't it ?!?, My daughter designed it in printshop"

[Hexabuzz]

All of these are totally cringeworth, but might we all agree that this one is, in a general way, perhaps THE WORST offender?

"It didn't look that way on MY screen!"

Sigh... Bangs head against wall and goes back to work prepping files...

[TORCH511]

Can we switch over to the photo side of the house?

○ "Color Profile - No, I want it printed landscape"

○ "I retouched it myslef"

○ "It can't be blurry, it was taken with a digital camera"

○ "How can you underexpose a pixel"

I have a million of those. Digital photography and the blatent piracy of Photoshop has put technology in the hands of the WRONG people.

[rachelle]

an ms word document and publisher file, a jpg or tiff file does not equal pdf.

I had one customer a few months ago who could not be happy with the color of his ad. He sent me the exact colors to use..

I said, "I can't reproduce those colors exactly, especially in newspaper, the colors will be off because its just impossible to get perfect color every time."

He said, "But I sent you the hex codes. You should be able to match exactly."

I said, "Hex codes are for web colors, this is for print. If you want me to get close, I need cmyk values."

He said, "No hex codes are better values. I am a graphic designer, I know what I need."

[TORCH511]

"I didn't add any bleed because I didn't want any!"

[MindBender]

"I didn't add any bleed because I didn't want any!"

LOL :D

[szalayc]

No, I'm afraid your 5 pt. type (Shelley Script, no less) reversed out of the 4C CT will not print well using flexo. It just won't. Accept that.

No, I can't just distort your barcode to fit. There are rules, you know.

Dear [client]: I know you think that having a free copy Photoshop Elements (that came with your digital camera software) means that you can now consider yourself a designer, but just because I know how to turn on a light switch does not make me an electrician.

And my favorite client comment: "I can color-correct this product shot right here at my desk. I know Adobe!" (pronounced 'uh-dobe', 2 syllables)

[Hexabuzz]

Us: What application will you be using to create the file you're sending us?

Them: Adobe

Us: Yes, but which application?

Them: <More insistently> Adobe!

Us: I understand you use Adobe products, but which application? Photoshop? Illustrator? InDesign?

Them: ADOBE!!! What kind of idiots are you that you don't know Adobe?!?